A break

A series of misfortunate events has surpass my life for a few weeks now.
One of them includes the death of my beloved grandmother who raised me up from young.
Her death was shocking. it bought tears, grief, and a unmeasurable void left in my heart.
It was also the most cruel countdown that I had to ever face.
Times like these you need to have a break in your life,
Times like these got me thinking about death and living,
Times like these got me thinking where would you'll be after death;
and how can we be so sure that the person who died is in a better place 'heaven'?
Have you ever experience holding someone's hand and watch them fight for their last breath?
Well my grandmother was the first one that I had to experience saying goodbye to forever.
I never knew how much pain would cause that you'll never see that person ever again.
Sitting on her bed where she used to lay, with the curtains closed and only the heaviness in the air,
hearing the clock ticking with no presence in the room has made me realize how drastically insensitive reality can be.
I guess that's what the 'real' in reality is used for.

I will need to blog about her because if i don't I may not be able to move forward.
But i know now's not the right time because I haven't handle it well yet.
And I know what I blog about will be just fake happiness that I pretend,
until i learn how to grow out and move on from this grief.
So I'm sincerely sorry that I will not be blogging as much as I want to for maybe this month or so,
I need a breather for this chapter of my life.


till then my beloved readers, I hope you'll understand

Sparkling blues

top : pink cropped cut out from BLUEYJOYCE

bottom : topshop inspired aqua sequin skirt from UGLY DUCKLING CLOSET

shoes : DIY

***

Remember the time when I say I was omg-ing all the way when I received a parcel from

Ugly Duckling Closet? Well it was because of this skirt that I’ve been eyeing for a long

long time in Topshop since it first landed on the rack a couple of months ago. This skirt

is phenomenal; its absolute shine is total attention grabbing. Almost like an aqua disco

ball, gosh the color (!) a mix of peacock and mermaid! A hybrid that’s what I call it. 

And of course it was so much cheaper and affordable than Topshop.

I was waiting for a day that I could wear it out; because it’s charming shine needed to

suit a charming event too. And of course, it needed a pair of charming shinny shoes!
I'm still very much happy of my new DIY shoes.
So I decided to wear it out for my buddy’s graduation

exhibition. It’s funny how I haven’t blog about my exhibition yet, lol.

Thank you again Ugly Duckling for knowing my taste so well, thank you!:) 

 Recent buys from a trip to the book store 

Recently I’ve been living on coffee in the morning accompanied by a book, the book

will be my breakfast partner and the one I go to to get my mind off stuffs. I never

have coffee all the time; the only time I usually have it is when I’m rushing on

assignments. Even now there’s a cup of caramel macchiato by my side when I’m

typing these out. April hasn’t been very good on me, and frankly it’s been more than

rough because I have to deal with so many personal stuffs coming at me all together.

Honestly it’s been the roughest for a long time now, and I’m struggling everyday

trying to get pass it. Struggling is a word that I hardly type out and being so bare and

vulnerable now is just not my thing that I show to anyone anymore. I don’t know since

when I started to bubble up my problems and built a wall around me that hides my true

emotions. It’s good tho so that people wouldn’t know what you’re thinking, it’s bad at

the same time as well because I’m having trouble finding the right person where I can

share all my feelings with. You know some of those 'friends' who just ask how are you

just for the sake of asking or to start a convo, they don't really care about how you feel 

to be honest, or what really bothers you isn't what they want to hear.

At the same time, I wish I had that person or friend that I can 

lay on the beach together with, showered by stars on a 3am sky.

Call me hopelessly romantic I just wish those days would come true...

***

Ankle boots + Bling DIY

This is result for my latest DIY project.

I bought these knee length boots from Forever 21 a few months ago that I had to keep

because it was one of those pretty pairs that were on crazy sale and I had to buy it and

try to figure out a way to innovate it later, haha. I wanted to put studs on them at first

but through time I didn’t think that it would reach my fondness; I love studs but I also

wanted to push myself to get out of my comfort zone of just playing with studs. So in 

the end I opted for a more bling and elegant look instead of the punkish boots that 

I was going for at the start.

So here's how I did this project that I'm sure all of you can do too :)

see, pretty easy right? 

I wore the bracelets here and bought two on impulse because of the sales again, 

They were too big for my small wrist; that's why don't throw away pretty things, 

you might need them for a DIY project in the future, haha.

I glued in the extra cloth after I cut the boots just to keep it neat. I didn’t want to cut it

at the edge because I think that would look awful, but if you already have low cut boots

you can skip the first step. It’s a very easy peasy DIY that I finished just within a day. 

It could have took a shorter time because I was over persnickety about where the gems

should be placed, I tried a few designs and decided to go with this one after the forth

attempt, and I think that arranging and deciding where the blings should be decorated

on is the most fun process of this whole diy :) 

Happy DIY people!

hehe I'm most pleased with the outcome and can't wait to share an outfit post with you soon!

p/s I'm still having major problems finding the right broadband brand for my stupid condo which does not support unifi :( 

A pocket full of flowers

photo credit : MEL JUSTICE

top : my graduation tee from CREATIVEINVASION

bottom : DIY pocket shorts from PULL AND BEAR

outerwear : varsity from a birthday gift

currently blogging in a cafe now cause my wifi is down. It's weird because I'm not in my 'comfort zone' 

and I feel people behind me are looking at my photos and what I'm writing about now, lol, yea it's weird.

and in a few more days I won't be having any internet access because I'm moving house.

One thing about my condo is that it doesn't have that fibre optic thing that UNIFI uses, so no more unifi for me:(

I guess I need to rely on some lame broadband stuff which I'm sooo foreign with the notion. gosh someone safe me!

And I never knew I had sooooo many things, I'm sooo tired of packing I don't wanna pack anymore T_T

like seriously I'm not even kidding when I say I have 5 large boxes for clothes, shoes, and bags,

sooo insane, I'm tired mentally and physically, I've been staying in this place for 3 years,

and it's almost like a home to me, especially Sunway. I'm gonna miss everything from my room.

the creepy ventilation on top my ceiling that I always fred something might fall down from there,

The lock and I broke *shh don't tell anyone* when I got locked outside my room,

The way the light shines it's morning light to greet me when I lay awake,

the pale color wall that makes the whole room look so calm...

sigh, it's mentally saddening because I'm so used to all this,

I even cried this morning because I won't be showering in ridiculously cold water anymore

because my heater broke a few months ago, I can't believe I cried because I'm gonna miss showering in cold water.

What I'm gonna miss the most about sunway is the people who makes my days everyday

 and tells me lame lame joke and makes me laugh all the time.

............

anyways that is not the main topic for my post today, haha,

I'm always going off-topic!

Have you ever got a pair of pants you love so much,

and that specific pants have that torn-old look that doesn't last for more than a year?

I bought these pants from Pull and Bear and honestly it's too costly for me to throw it away,

I also like that little patterns on the bottom of the shorts so much! I needed to find a way to give back it's life.

all you need for this ultra simple diy is cloths and fabric glue.

I don't think you can sew it on because of the stitching.

you can use lace instead of cloth if you want but I didn't had lace that's why, haha.

and walla! a new born torn out pants, haha! 

I hope you guys enjoy this little DIY, 

I've recently done a pretty nice DIY and I can't wait to show it to you guys, 

eeeek! CAN"T WAIT! :D

hehe, turning the old into new again just make my day to the max! 

I also hope you guys have a great sunday and get ready for monday! 

And I hope your day is better than mine:) 

I gtg now cause the cafe is turning on really bad and loud music, T_T good bye people.

I can't wait to blog again soon!!

till then, 

xoxo